Principle #7: Teach Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is defined as "the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically."

This skill is one that is carefully crafted. Teaching this skill is not easy - it requires allowing vulnerability and truth.

If your child is the smartest person in the room but has a hard time relating to people emotionally, he is less likely to move forward than an emotionally intelligent person. The ability to connect with others in a vulnerable and authentic way is a carefully crafted skill that your child will learn from you.

Daniel Goleman is one of the key innovators in the research on emotional intelligence. He has written a number of books on the topic. In them, he outlines the five key elements of emotional intelligence.

Five key elements of emotional intelligence:

1. Genuine emotional intelligence begins with self-awareness. Self-awareness is an ability to recognize emotions and see their impact on those around you. Those who have an ability to understand the sources of their emotions are better able to understand how their emotions are affecting their current state of mind.
2. Self-regulation leads to adaptability and acceptance of change. Regulating emotions can only happen with a strong sense of self-awareness. Self-regulation means knowing when and how to express emotions. The ability to remain calm in stressful situations until you are in a safe place to process your feelings is the core of self-regulation.
3. Motivation should come from inside rather than outside sources. Rather than chasing fame and recognition, intrinsically motivated people work hard in order to fulfill their own goals and expectations. Those who are motivated from secure sources are better able to roll with the punches and adapt to new things. They are always looking for ways to improve and learn new things.
4. Empathy is unequivocally linked to emotional intelligence. This is the skill that most helps in connection with other people because it entails an ability to understand the struggles and success of those around them. By being able to connect with a diverse range of people, empathetic people foster stronger and more authentic connections to others.
5. Social skills develop emotional intelligence and emotional intelligence develops social skills. An ability to be positive and uplifting in daily social interactions improves relationships with the people you come into contact with.